Tapes of Mel Gibson Prove Domestic Violence is Everywhere. But Are They Admissible in Court?

In a tape released Monday, actor Mel Gibson acknowledges an incident in which he hit former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva twice while she held their baby daughter. In his verbally abusive tirade, Gibson not only admits to the incident, he tells Grigorieva that she deserved it. The legal admissibility of the tape is dubious, because in California, "both parties must consent to have a phone conversation recorded," according to the LA Times. But it may still be admissible in court, the Times adds, because some legal exceptions are made for victims of violence.

While it is important for victims of domestic violence to collect evidence against their abuser, each state has its own laws about what evidence you can use in court. And while aggressive, harassing phone calls are a form of domestic abuse, in most states it is considered a misdemeanor or felony to tape a phone conversation without the consent of the other party. In California, for instance, both parties must be aware that they are being taped, otherwise recording a conversation carries the same penalty as intercepting telephone or wire communications. So it has yet to be seen whether the tapes made by Grigorieva, however damning, will be admissible in court. And she may face penalties for making the tapes. (For state-by-state information on taping phone calls and conversations, go to: http://www.rcfp.org/taping/states.html)

And it is important to remember that there are other ways to build a strong domestic violence case in court. In most states, evidence can include:
• Testimony in court (from you or your witnesses)
• Medical reports of injuries from the abuse
• Police reports for when you or a witness called the police
• Pictures of your injuries (better if they are dated)
• Household objects torn or broken by the abuser
• Pictures of your household in disarray after an episode of domestic violence
• Weapons used
• Tapes of calls you may have made to 911
• Certified copies of the abuser’s criminal record (try to get these through the clerk of criminal court)
• A personal diary or calendar in which you documented the abuse as it happened
• Anything else that might help convince the judge.

The significance of this case for victims of domestic violence goes above and beyond the legal validity of the leaked tape, however. According to the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, "nearly 5.3 million incidents of domestic violence occur each year among U.S. women ages 18 and older." Most of those incidents lack the high profile luster of a Mel Gibson or a Chris Brown, but they have the same destructive impact on individual lives and families around the country. The leaked tapes of Gibson may or may not ultimately be the evidence used to convict Gibson, but they certainly have shed a spotlight on domestic violence - which can only strengthen the fight against it.

Tapes of Mel Gibson Prove Domestic Violence is Everywhere. But Are They Admissible in Court?

States Move Forwards on Making Strangulation a Crime

What do you mean? Strangulation isn’t already considered a crime?

So far only 29 states have passed legislation that classifies the act of strangulation as a specific crime and increases sentences for offenders who have non-fatally strangled a victim. This may soon be the case for Ohio and New York, 2 states that do not currently treat strangulation as a felony in and of itself, but rather place it in a general category of assault or domestic abuse.

Strangulation is used by abusers to assert control, power, and psychological terror over their victims. It can also easily lead to fatal results. Historically, one of the problems with prosecuting strangulation has been that in many cases there is no visible evidence of injury, and where physical evidence was lacking, strangulation was not treated as a serious offense. Yet 10% of violent deaths in the U.S. each year are due to strangulation, and the majority of victims are women.

Ohio lawmakers have recently moved to support legislation that makes strangulation a felony. Similarly, in New York, Democratic State Senator Eric Schneiderman has sponsored a bill entitled “The Strangulation Prevention Act 2010” which, when approved, will increase penalties for assaults that involve “impeding or impairing another person’s breathing or circulation.” This is great news: having a specific law against strangulation plays an important role in protecting victims of domestic violence.

Strangulation a warning sign for murder?

Research has demonstrated a link between assaults involving strangulation and fatal incidents of domestic violence. A 2008 study in the Journal of Emergency Medicine analyzed 300 murders in 11 U.S. cities and showed that 43% of women who had been murdered in domestic assaults and 45% of attempted murder victims had been strangled in the previous year by their male partners.

Victims of strangulation are at higher risk of being murdered by their partners in the future. Passing legislation that specifically designates strangulation as a crime is an important step towards decreasing the number of fatalities associated with domestic assault. But in addition to making legislative changes, states need to sensitize law enforcement officials to recognize the severity of strangulation and investigate and act accordingly, especially in light of the fact that so often there are no visible injuries.

Click here to read the “Strangulation Prevention Act 2010” in its entirety or here for more information on strangulation. Go to WomensLaw.org for state-specific legal information on domestic violence and sexual assault.

States Move Forwards on Making Strangulation a Crime

No-Fault Divorce and Domestic Violence

Last week, New York’s State Senate approved a bill that puts New York on track to become the 50th state to adopt no-fault divorce. Supporters of the bill feel it’s about time. California was the first state to pass no-fault divorce legislation nearly 40 years ago, and since then, all states except New York have done the same.

So what is no-fault divorce? And what kind of societal impact could the adoption of a no-fault divorce law have in New York?

No-fault divorce gives married couples the ability to end their marriage without having to prove that one spouse or the other is to blame. Currently, in order to obtain a divorce in New York, one party must prove that the other is “at fault,” even if both parties agree that they want the marriage to end. In fact, one spouse must “consent” to the divorce by accepting blame for something like adultery, or abandonment, or cruel and inhuman treatment of their partner. The only other way to secure a divorce in New York is to be legally separated for a year.

But if the no-fault divorce legislation passes in the State Assembly, all of this will change. In the shift from consent-based divorce to unilateral divorce, proof of wrongdoing will no longer be required to end a marriage, making a divorce easier and less expensive (litigation-wise) to obtain.

And how does this help victims of domestic violence?

There is evidence that passing no-fault divorce legislation could have a significant impact on levels of domestic violence. In The New York Times, economist Betsey Stevenson writes of her research with colleague Justin Wolfers: “…we uncovered evidence of a large decrease in domestic violence among states that adopted unilateral divorce laws, relative to those (like New York) which did not. This decrease was not just because abused women (and men) could more easily divorce their abusers, but also because potential abusers knew that they were more likely to be left. We found a 30 percent decline in domestic violence – an effect that could only occur if violence decreased in marriages that stayed together.”

To learn more about divorce laws and domestic violence, read Stevenson and Wolfers’ full paper. For information on divorce laws on a state-by-state basis, visit WomensLaw.org.

No-Fault Divorce and Domestic Violence

VAWA Includes Same-Sex Relationships

Great news! The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) now explicitly applies to domestic violence cases that occur in same-sex relationships. Although VAWA never excluded same-sex couples when it was first passed by congress in 1994, the recent memorandum from the Justice Department now clearly interprets VAWA as including violence perpetrated in gay and lesbian relationships, in addition to heterosexual ones.

David J. Barron, the acting Assistant Attorney General of the Justice Department, argued in his memorandum that the language of VAWA offers protection even when the victim and the offender are of the same sex, and that federal prosecutors should enforce criminal provisions listed in VAWA regardless of the sex of the victim or the offender. In fact, even though the act is called the Violence Against Women Act, the language of VAWA is gender-neutral - - using terms like “intimate partner”, “dating partner”, “spouse” and “another person”.

This is an important decision for gay couples. The New York Times quotes Brian Moulton, chief legislative counsel of a gay and lesbian advocacy group called the Human Rights Campaign, as saying: “It’s a step towards equality and recognizing that our relationships exist and are subject to the same sorts of issues that face other committed couples.”

To learn more you can read the memorandum or read about same-sex abuse on WomensLaw.org.

VAWA Includes Same-Sex Relationships

VAWA and U Visa for non-citizen victims of abuse

VAWA is the acronym for the Violence Against Women Act, which was passed by Congress in 1994. VAWA is intended to help battered non-citizens who are married to, or recently divorced from US Citizens or Lawful Permanent Residents self-petition for Lawful Permanent Residence or to remove the condition on their 2-year Conditional Permanent Residence cards.

Self petitioning means that the victim of abuse can apply on her own without the knowledge of the abuser. In fact, the law is clear that the Unites States Citizen and Immigration Services (USCIS) may not inform an applicant’s spouse that a victim has applied for residency.

If a non-citizen victim of abuse is not married to or recently divorced from the abuser then a U Visa could be a good option for obaining legal status. The U Visa is designed to provide immigration status to non-citizens that are assisting or are willing to assist authorities investigating crimes. Non-citizens may be eligible for a U Visa if they are a crime victim who (1) have suffered substantial physical or mental abuse from criminal activity; (2) have information regarding the criminal activity; (3) assist government officials in the investigation or prosecution of such criminal activity; and (4) the criminal activity violated US law or occurred in the United States (including Indian country and military installations) or the territories and possession of the United States.

Please visit WomensLaw.org to read more about VAWA and U Visas including steps on how to petition.

*42 U.S.C.A. § 3796gg-0 (Retrieved from: http://www.ovw.usdoj.gov/docs/ovw_establishment.pdf)

VAWA and U Visa for non-citizen victims of abuse

Being a Woman is a Pre-existing Condition, No More!

For whatever your opinion on the Health Care Reform bill, it will now prohibit insurance companies from classifying domestic violence as a preexisting condition and that is a very good thing.

As journalist Amy Davidson points out in The New Yorker, when being a domestic violence victim makes it harder for a woman to get insurance this could discourage her from telling her doctor about where those injuries really came from. And what about her children? If she cannot get insurance, then what does that mean for her kids? Congresswoman Lynn Woolsey told the House in the final debate of the bill that "We should be ashamed".

Lynn Rosenthal in The White House Blog writes,

"Yet until last night, insurance companies in eight states and the District of Columbia could still discriminate against victims by declaring domestic violence a preexisting condition. Domestic violence victims in those states faced the real risk of being denied health care at the very time when they needed it the most. Because of last night’s vote, domestic violence victims in those states will no longer face discrimination."

To read more about the bill and how it helps victims of domestic violence check out "For Victims of Domestic Violence, Health Care is a Lifeline" by Lynn Rosenthal.

Being a Woman is a Pre-existing Condition, No More!

Tips for Economic Empowerment

Here are some helpful tips from The Allstate Foundation for someone who has suffered economic abuse to get their financial security back:

• Get a copy of your credit report and monitor your credit often. Contest false charges.
• Open a post office box (PO Box) and change your mailing address for all financial information you receive before or after leaving the abuser.
• Change PIN codes and passwords on: utilities accounts, cell phone service, ATM/debit cards, online banking, email.
• Make changes to documents such as insurance plans, wills, or trusts and appoint a new person if the abuser was the designee.

For more information on economic empowerment after domestic violence, go to ClicktoEmpower. For some ways to help the economic empowerment of domestic violence survivors in your community, check out these tips.

Tips for Economic Empowerment

Economic Abuse: What Is It?

A new poll conducted by The Allstate Foundation and The National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) reveals 44% of people surveyed say the most difficult barrier to leaving an abusive relationship is financial security, yet 86% of Americans do not associate “economic abuse” with domestic violence.

Money can be one method an abuser uses to control and manipulate someone. Abusers may demand control of their partner’s earnings or government benefit payments, or deny her access to money in order to make her wholly dependent on him. Sometimes this financially controlling behavior takes the form of stealing or punishing someone when they spend money. Other times the abuser may directly prevent their partner from being independently financially secure by destroying the victim’s credit rating by running up debt by failing to make payments.

Domestic violence is about an abuser’s need for power over his victim, whether that takes the form of bruises or creating financial instability so crippling she cannot leave him. When women consider leaving their abusers, lack of financial resources can be a major obstacle . Working towards financial empowerment for women who have left or are preparing to leave their abusers is one of the ways that domestic violence advocates can help victims of domestic violence.

The NNEDV and The Allstate Foundation created a Financial Empowerment Curriculum as a way to help domestic violence survivors navigate the challenges of economic abuse as well as the added stress of the recession. For more information, check out their website, ClicktoEmpower . For more information, look at this factsheet on economic abuse or check out the Financial Information/Economic Empowerment section of our website for national resources that can help.

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse of any kind, WomensLaw.org can help. Ask us a question through our website and we will respond within 3 business days.

Economic Abuse: What Is It?

When She Doesn't Want to Leave

What safety factors can advocates consider when helping someone who wants to stay with her abuser? In “When Battered Women Stay: Advocacy Beyond Leaving,” Jill Davies emphasizes a need to expand the current approach used by DV advocates by creating strategies that protect and empower women who want to stay with their abusers.

A woman might choose to stay in her abusive relationship because the risks of leaving outweigh the risks of staying. Statistics show that women are in the most danger directly after they leave an abusive relationship. Leaving may also create more stress and difficulty for a victim and her children, like financial barriers or relocating her home. A woman may also choose to stay because she wants to fix her relationship and hopes her partner will stop his abusive behavior.

Domestic violence advocates can support these women by:

1) working with the victims to develop strategies to increase their safety while still in the relationship
2) ending violent and controlling behavior while not demonizing the abusive partner and supporting them to change
3) better understanding children’s needs and build opportunities for their well-being and prevent future harm.

Domestic violence advocates may consider more creative strategies when helping a woman who wants to stay in her relationship. Its important for domestic violence advocates to be aware of respecting a woman's choices and empowering her to navigate and define her own relationship, no matter if she stays or leaves.

For more information on preparing to leave check out our pages “Getting Ready to Leave,” "Leaving,” and “After You Have Left.” More information for domestic violence and sexual assault advocates is located on our “Helping Others – Advocates” page.

When She Doesn't Want to Leave

New “Anti-Stab” Knives

A knife with a new tip (see photo above) is to be released in the UK this fall, reports the BBC.

Many factors of the typical knife design have been re-considered. These new knives have blunt rounded tips which make it difficult to successfully injure another person. In the worst case scenario, these changes make stabbing injuries less severe and less likely to be fatal.

British police have noted kitchen knives as the most common weapon in fatal stabbings. Doctors have also been advocating for re-engineered kitchen knives to make stab wounds less fatal. One doctor explains the danger of common household knives:

“[They] are freely available to the very young and very old, and used by people who may be clumsy, short tempered, drunk or mentally or physically unwell. Most people fit into one or more of these categories at some time in their lives."

Domestic violence in homes can escalate out of control rapidly, so modifying a regular household item to make it less dangerous and reduce the potential for harm to women and their families is an important development. It is not hard to imagine the severity of the threat in which potentially lethal weapons are commonly used as objects of intimidation or worse. Let’s hope to see this in the USA as well as the UK!

To read more about Safety Planning if you are in an abusive relationship visit WomensLaw.org.

New “Anti-Stab” Knives

Teens Make PSAs About Abuse

After the highly-publicized violence between singers Chris Brown and Rihanna, Gerry Leone, the District Attorney of Middlesex County, MA, created a competition for high schoolers to create PSAs about Teen Dating Violence to talk back against the media blitz.

Sparking the involvement of more than 200 high schoolers across the county, six finalists were chosen by a group of DV experts, school personnel and members of the District Attorney’s office. Today, 800 high students across Middlesex County will watch the videos in health class and vote on the winner. The winning PSA will be submitted to Boston television stations for possible airing.

Some stats about teen dating violence from the Middlesex District Attorney’s Office:

• 1 in 3 teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner
• Youth, specifically between the ages of 16 to 24, experience the highest per capita rate of intimate partner violence in the nation
• Following news reports on the alleged incident between Chris Brown and Rihanna, a survey of Boston teens revealed that 46% of respondents believed that Rihanna was in some way responsible. In addition, 44% said that fighting was a normal part of a relationship.

Teen dating violence is something that so many have experienced and many more have witnessed. It’s important for teens to know their rights so they can be empowered to take a stand, for themselves and for each other.

What a creative project that empowers teens to resist overwhelming media representations that harm women, perpetuate male dominance, and blame the victim of abuse! Imagine the conversations had by each of those 200 students in the process of making those films as they learned more about the violence that affects their lives, their friends and their classmates. Through these projects these teens learned how to better support each other and how to question harm that seems “normal,” whether it is fighting in a relationship or appalling portrayals of violence against women in the media. Way to go, DA and high school students!

Most of all, who better to speak out against teen dating violence than the people it affects? Let’s continue to encourage them to do so.

Watch two of the submissions below or go here to watch the rest:

“End the Cycle of Abuse”


“A Cry for Help”


Which one would you vote for?

For more information on Teen Dating Violence, including legal information and where to find help, check out the Information for Teens section of WomensLaw.org.

Teens Make PSAs About Abuse

Prostitution and Domestic Violence

WomensLaw.org recently posted new information to the website about prostitution, and some people asked, "What does prostitution have to do with domestic violence?"

This is an excerpt from a New York Times article called, "Girls on Our Streets" by Nicholas D. Kristof.

“If you don’t earn enough money, you get beat,” said Jasmine, an African-American who has turned her life around with the help of Covenant House, an organization that works with children on the street. “If you say something you’re not supposed to, you get beat. If you stay too long with a customer, you get beat. And if you try to leave the pimp, you get beat.”

Read more about this issue at WomensLaw.org.

Prostitution and Domestic Violence

Know Your Rights Thursday

"Even if a woman sells her body for sex (which is illegal), she still has the right to seek legal protection for crimes committed against her, like rape and abuse."

Read more about prostitution and domestic violence on WomensLaw.org.

Know Your Rights Thursday

Knightley PSA Banned

I'm sure most of you have heard about the PSA Keira Knightley acted in a few weeks ago which received over 1 million YouTube hits. In case you haven't, it depicts Knightley coming home to a violent boyfriend and graphic scenes of him beating her.

The Independent Media reports that British TV, which had planned to show the ad, will only air it if the most violent scenes are cut.

There is much controversy about this.

On one hand, it is important to unmask the mystery of domestic violence and educate people about an issue which deserves serious understanding and attention.

On the other hand, is it necessary to depict such a violent scene as the one in the PSA to achieve this goal? This PSA is incredibly violent. As someone who gets queasy just seeing blood, I was so distracted by the violence that the purpose for me was nearly lost in my nausea (of course, since I work in the field I don't need much more education on the subject.)

However, others argue that the need for such graphic depiction is essential to the message. Rook22 says in his blog, "Perhaps seeing Knightley knocked down will resonate with someone who's neighbor is a victim of domestic violence, but they have been reluctant to help."

Necessary or needlessly graphic? What do you think?

Knightley PSA Banned

Bureaucratic Error Endangers Woman and Kids

ABC Local news reported yesterday about a bureaucratic error which put a woman and her three children in danger by giving the children's father (an abuser) their confidential home address on a government form from child services.

After getting numerous restraining orders and divorcing her now ex-husband, the woman moved to Long Island with her three children and tried to make sure her new address was keep confidential on all court documentation. Due to a failure in the system, which does not mark custody paperwork as having come from a domestic violence situation, her ex husband was sent a letter with her home address printed on it.

In a fair and just world, the state of NY would pay for this woman and her family to relocated to a new home, where her abuser will not know her address. Unfortunately, the System simply apologized for the error and recommended she move into a shelter.

WomensLaw.org recently wrote a new page called When the Legal System Fails You, in case you or someone you know needs a different kind of help than the courts can provide.

Bureaucratic Error Endangers Woman and Kids

What Is Domestic Violence?

What Is Domestic Violence?

A Few Things About the Word "Rape"

As the white knight of Twitter, WomensLaw was busy this afternoon getting out the word about our services, when we came across the most horrendous uses of the word "rape" in users' tweets. Twitter has this fantastic search function where one can search keywords and all tweets containing those words will appear in the search listings. WomensLaw uses this function to find people in cyberspace who are looking for information about domestic violence, and then tweets them an appropriate link to our website.

I digress. Here are some examples of the way people are carelessly and harmfully throwing around the word "rape":

"If you force sex on a hooker, is it rape or shoplifting?"

"Oh thats it. Im a republican now. I just had to pay even MORE in taxes than the rape i have endured all year!!"

"The test didnt rape me, but i didnt like it."

"One nice thing i've noticed about NIN is they don't rape you on ticket cost, unlike Depeche Mode who want $90 a ticket."

Okay, so you get the idea. These were also the tamest of the ways which the word "rape" is misused. I am incredibly disturbed by this. Rape is a serious and terrible assault on someone's human rights; the severity of which is undermined when people use the word as common slang. If someone can say "That test raped me" then it takes real power away from someone else saying "That man raped me". See?

Adding to further despair, I happened to see Observe and Report with Anna Faris this weekend, which portrays a very real date rape scene, which the media is in a frenzied debate over at the moment. Some say its humorous, and others say offensive.

What do you all think? Have you heard the word "rape" misused, or seen other instances where sexual assault is devalued?

A Few Things About the Word "Rape"

Why Do Men Hit?

How frequently have you heard people ask, "Why do women stay with men who hit them"?

Progressive feminist writer and women's studies professor, Shira Tarrant, author of The Man Files at Girl With Pen, raises this exact point in her most recent article "Serious Talk About Men's Violence".

Tarrant writes, "The most effective way to end violence against women is to stop the problem before it happens. Doing so means we need men on board. We need men taking responsibility, getting in on the conversations about male violence, and refusing to be silent bystanders to the problem."

Domestic violence has traditionally been treated as a women’s issue. Besides constituting the majority of victims, women make up the greater part of the workforce in the field. Additionally, the focus of the work has been on helping victims leave their abusers and restore their sense of agency and independence.

To stop violence before it begins, attention needs to be directed towards young boys and men, specifically those who show a predisposition towards violence. This can happen by researching risk factors, as well as providing better rehabilitation for proven abusers. Additionally, men need to be involved in the movement to end violence against women. Men like Jackson Katz are leading the movement in this way.

Since the cycle of abuse hurts everybody, domestic violence is a societal issue, not just a woman's problem.

So why then, do men hit? And why aren't we asking that question?

Why Do Men Hit?

Domestic Violence in Art

We found this great website we wanted to share with you! Two artists have put together photographs and texts in a moving online exhibit about domestic violence. Here is one piece from the show below, but you can also see the whole thing here: Beating Hearts: Stories of Domestic Violence.


"I keep looking in the mirror and crying. I can't stand to see myself. My hair was down below my waist. I hadn't cut it in over twenty years. Now look at me.

He didn't speak to me during supper. He had been calling me all day, but I was working in the garden, so I wasn't by the phone. I tried to tell him that, but he just stopped talking to me. That's what he does when he gets mad. So I got the kids into bed and I took my bath. When I came out, he walked up to me with a pair of scissors. I didn't know what he was going to do at first, but then he grabbed my hair and pulled it so hard that tears just popped out of my eyes. Then he just chopped it off.

I tried to fight him, but he said he'd stab me if I didn't sit still. I cried so hard. Then he told me he was going to get the belt. When he went to the bedroom, I ran outside. I ran to our next-door neighbor's house and hid in his workshop. Ben came out looking for me, and then he got our 15-year-old son to help him. My own son!

I used the phone in the shop and called the police. They came and got me. I had to leave in my nightgown, and both of the kids are still with their dad! When will I see my kids?

I'm so worried. I had better go back home. I need some clothes. i want to talk to my kids. What about my daughter? She's only eleven. She'll cry when she sees my hair.

I can't stay here. I have to go back home. ben will be mad, but I can handle it. I appreciate your help and all. Please don't be mad at me. I just have to go home."

Domestic Violence in Art

Power, Police and Domestic Violence

A post on Vintage Berry Wine blog discusses the huge problem of members of law enforcement who are abusive to their spouses and children. Since domestic violence is so much about power and control for the abuser, what do you do if you are a victim of domestic violence and your abuser is in a legal position of power over you?

The Purple Berets list statistics and other information about police brutality at home:

"Domestic violence is 2 to 4 times more common in police families than in the general population. In two separate studies, 40% of police officers self-report that they have used violence against their domestic partners within the last year. In the general population, it's estimated that domestic violence occurs in about 10% of families."

Domestic violence laws apply to everyone, including soldiers and police officers, but it may seem extra difficult if your abuser is one of those. You can read more about your rights on WomensLaw.org.

Power, Police and Domestic Violence