Tips for Economic Empowerment

Here are some helpful tips from The Allstate Foundation for someone who has suffered economic abuse to get their financial security back:

• Get a copy of your credit report and monitor your credit often. Contest false charges.
• Open a post office box (PO Box) and change your mailing address for all financial information you receive before or after leaving the abuser.
• Change PIN codes and passwords on: utilities accounts, cell phone service, ATM/debit cards, online banking, email.
• Make changes to documents such as insurance plans, wills, or trusts and appoint a new person if the abuser was the designee.

For more information on economic empowerment after domestic violence, go to ClicktoEmpower. For some ways to help the economic empowerment of domestic violence survivors in your community, check out these tips.

Tips for Economic Empowerment

Economic Abuse: What Is It?

A new poll conducted by The Allstate Foundation and The National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) reveals 44% of people surveyed say the most difficult barrier to leaving an abusive relationship is financial security, yet 86% of Americans do not associate “economic abuse” with domestic violence.

Money can be one method an abuser uses to control and manipulate someone. Abusers may demand control of their partner’s earnings or government benefit payments, or deny her access to money in order to make her wholly dependent on him. Sometimes this financially controlling behavior takes the form of stealing or punishing someone when they spend money. Other times the abuser may directly prevent their partner from being independently financially secure by destroying the victim’s credit rating by running up debt by failing to make payments.

Domestic violence is about an abuser’s need for power over his victim, whether that takes the form of bruises or creating financial instability so crippling she cannot leave him. When women consider leaving their abusers, lack of financial resources can be a major obstacle . Working towards financial empowerment for women who have left or are preparing to leave their abusers is one of the ways that domestic violence advocates can help victims of domestic violence.

The NNEDV and The Allstate Foundation created a Financial Empowerment Curriculum as a way to help domestic violence survivors navigate the challenges of economic abuse as well as the added stress of the recession. For more information, check out their website, ClicktoEmpower . For more information, look at this factsheet on economic abuse or check out the Financial Information/Economic Empowerment section of our website for national resources that can help.

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse of any kind, WomensLaw.org can help. Ask us a question through our website and we will respond within 3 business days.

Economic Abuse: What Is It?

When She Doesn't Want to Leave

What safety factors can advocates consider when helping someone who wants to stay with her abuser? In “When Battered Women Stay: Advocacy Beyond Leaving,” Jill Davies emphasizes a need to expand the current approach used by DV advocates by creating strategies that protect and empower women who want to stay with their abusers.

A woman might choose to stay in her abusive relationship because the risks of leaving outweigh the risks of staying. Statistics show that women are in the most danger directly after they leave an abusive relationship. Leaving may also create more stress and difficulty for a victim and her children, like financial barriers or relocating her home. A woman may also choose to stay because she wants to fix her relationship and hopes her partner will stop his abusive behavior.

Domestic violence advocates can support these women by:

1) working with the victims to develop strategies to increase their safety while still in the relationship
2) ending violent and controlling behavior while not demonizing the abusive partner and supporting them to change
3) better understanding children’s needs and build opportunities for their well-being and prevent future harm.

Domestic violence advocates may consider more creative strategies when helping a woman who wants to stay in her relationship. Its important for domestic violence advocates to be aware of respecting a woman's choices and empowering her to navigate and define her own relationship, no matter if she stays or leaves.

For more information on preparing to leave check out our pages “Getting Ready to Leave,” "Leaving,” and “After You Have Left.” More information for domestic violence and sexual assault advocates is located on our “Helping Others – Advocates” page.

When She Doesn't Want to Leave

Signs of an Abuser

Some of the subtle warning signs include:

• They do not take responsibility for their actions and blame others for everything that goes wrong.
• They are extremely jealous.
• They insist on moving too quickly into a relationship.
• They criticize their partner’s appearance and make frequent put downs.
• Their words and actions don’t match.
• They insist that you stop participating in leisure activities or spending time with family and friends.
• They many times seem too good to be true.

To read more about Domestic Violence visit WomensLaw.org.

Signs of an Abuser

$1.3 Million Not as Easy to Ignore as Rape in Prison

In Denver, a female inmate won a lawsuit for $1.3 million after being sexually assaulted by a Colorado Department of Corrections officer. She filed a lawsuit against the officer after suffering sexual abuse by him for over 5 months. The federal judge on the case, Judge David M. Ebel, awarded the female inmate $354,070 in compensatory damages for her medical costs and emotional suffering and $1 million in punitive damages against her assailant. It is a huge sum in order to make a point.

Judge Ebel wrote in his ruling “he hoped the damages would be a deterrent to other correctional officers” because “he believes the DOC does not effectively enforce a zero-tolerance policy on sexual abuse of inmates.” After pleading guilty to a misdemeanor charge of unlawful sexual contact, the guard only received a sentence of 60 days in jail.

For five months the female inmate was sexually assaulted. The assailant only spends 60 days in jail. The disparity is telling. $1.3 million tries to make up the difference.

Sexual assault is common in both men and women’s prisons across the US. In 2007, the Bureau of Justice Statistics surveyed over one million inmates across the country in state and federal prisons and found that 4.5% had been sexually abused in the previous year alone.

It is not news that the reform system in this country is in need of a serious overhaul, but it is deeply disturbing that human beings, albeit criminals, are being abused by the very people whose duty it is to protect them. Similar to domestic violence in the home, violence in prisons is another reflection of the deeply rooted nature of brutality and rape for power and control.

I’d agree with Judge Ebel: something more needs to be done to protect prisoners from the unchecked abuse of power that leads to rape.

For more information on rape in prisons check out here and here. Also read this interesting NYTimes piece “ReThinking Prison Design".

$1.3 Million Not as Easy to Ignore as Rape in Prison

Know Your Rights Thursday

"Even if a woman sells her body for sex (which is illegal), she still has the right to seek legal protection for crimes committed against her, like rape and abuse."

Read more about prostitution and domestic violence on WomensLaw.org.

Know Your Rights Thursday

Less Jobs, More Violence

Data released Jan. 30 by the National Domestic Violence Hotline, shows that there has been an increase in violence over the last year, which could be directly correlated to an increase in job loss.

Over the six months that the NDVH collected data (7,868 callers participated), 54% said there had been a change in their household's financial situation in the last year. Additionaly, 64% said the abuse had gotten worse in the last year.

With past research already supporting the notion that violence increases in times of economic hardship, it is not a surprise that more violence is bring reported today. This means that services like WomensLaw.org, the NDVH, and other organizations across the country are facing a higher demand for services.

Below is a news clip from an Oklahoma news station from Dec. 15, 2008 about the economy increasing abuse in OK.

Less Jobs, More Violence

Are Narcissists Abusers?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder, according to the DSMIV, is categorized by "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy." Narcissists are incredibly self centered and can be very manipulative and controlling. They will do nearly anything to get what they want from someone, and since they lack the ability to feel empathy, (defined as "the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another"), they can be very hurtful to those around them.

When we talk about domestic violence, commonly defined as one person getting and keeping power of control over another, we are normally referring to direct verbal and physical abuse, but there are many ways in which one person manipulates and controls another without using violence.

The popular reality MTV show, The Hills, shows Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt (photo below) who are a great example of how a narcissist can be abusive to someone.

Over the course of The Hills, Spencer meets Heidi and they begin dating. Early on in their relationship she catches him cheating on her, but then he wins her back and so begins their relationship. He convinces her that all her friends are terrible people out to get her, and even blames the cheating behavior on Heidi's best friend Lauren. (Remember that a narcissist never believes he or she is at fault - it is always some one else's problem.) Eventually Spencer causes so much drama between Heidi and her friends that Heidi stops having friends all together and moves in with Spencer, at his insistence. Other problems arise as Spencer pushes Heidi to get engaged and then get married. Over the course of their relationship Heidi becomes more and more isolated from her life and even her job, after Spencer says something offensive to her bosses and has her fired. Although Spencer's behavior on the show can be sweet and loving to Heidi, he is ultimately very manipulative and controlling of her.

To watch full episodes of The Hills you can go to this link: http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/the_hills/series.jhtml

Are Narcissists Abusers?

Domestic Violence Increases with Unemployment

Womensenews reported yesterday:

"An extensive 2004 report by the National Institute of Justice found that the rate of violence against women increases as male unemployment increases. When a woman's male partner is employed, the rate of violence is 4.7 percent. It's 7.5 percent when the male experiences one period of unemployment. It's 12.3 percent when the male experiences two or more periods of unemployment.

A female victim's lack of money, meanwhile, is a common reason why she may refuse to leave an abusive partner, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence."

As the economy suffers, so do more women and children across the country. Its more important than ever to turn our attention towards ending domestic violence and helping women currently in abusive relationships reach safety. You can read more on WomensLaw.org about what you can do to help yourself or someone you know.

Domestic Violence Increases with Unemployment

The new loveisrespect ads

Check out the new video by loveisrespect, the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline. We think these are great not only because they advertise the services at loveisrespect but also because they educate people about abuse.

The new loveisrespect ads

New Program for Batters in Brooklyn

The success of Batterer Intervention programs is a highly debated topic within the domestic violence community. Are they helpful or not? Can a batterer change their behavior? Most domestic violence resources focus on helping women leave their abusers, but there is a small focus of the community which is reaching out to the batterers in the domestic violence relationship. WNYC reported on a new type of batterer invention program in Brooklyn. You can read the transcript of the interview here.

New Program for Batters in Brooklyn