Thursday, July 30, 2009

Know Your Rights Thursday

"You have the right to be angry and protest if you are treated unfairly or abusively by anyone."

If you want to know your legal options or just need some support, please contact us and someone will respond to your question within 3 business days.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Spot Light: Nina Gilbert, Program Associate

During Nina Gilbert’s two years with, Nina has expanded the organization into social media, accessing communities like Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and creating WomensLaw Reports. By working proactively on the forefront of media trends, Nina has been able to reach more people across the country who are in need of the support and information on With a deep dedication to women’s rights, Nina’s education and expertise support the organization in numerous capacities.

Listen to Nina talk about in a podcast on Hey Brooklyn!, on the radio at Lite106.7FM or watch her on television on "Toxic Love" (coming soon!).


Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Media Hit: in NYTimes Bestseller

Looking for a new read? Check out Lady Killer by Lisa Scottoline, and find cited on page 84.

Safety on Facebook

Ever Google yourself? What's on the Internet that others can see? Knowing the principles of Internet Security can not only keep you safe from Identity Theft, but can also be an important part of leaving an abusive relationship.

Here are some things you can do to keep yourself safe on the Internet:
  • Using a made-up name and email address when you post any sort of comments on blogs or other sites that are accessible to the public can cut down on sites that the abuser can find if he searches for you on the Internet.*
  • Before buying anything off of the Internet, check to make sure that the site is secure. The site’s web address should start with https:// and there should be a lock icon on the page somewhere (a little picture of a padlock). If you only put your information into a secure website, you can decrease the chances that an abuser who knows how to get information from an unsecured site can get access to your personal information. To be extra secure, you can choose to not buy things off the Internet. If there is something that can only be purchased on-line that you really need, ask a family member or friend to buy it for you using his/her name and address.
  • If asked by a website if they can share your information with “associates of the site” or “selected partners,” say “No.” If you agree to let them share your information, you will have no control over how any site that is given your information will use it.
  • Be aware of how much indentifying information you are posting on any of your social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, or blogs. Remember to consider what information you want everyone, including an abuser, to be able to see.** If you moved to get away from the abuser, there is a possibility he could identify your location through pictures, videos, or general information on profiles.
  • Also, anytime you buy a magazine subscription, give your name and phone number to a cashier at a store, or provide your personal information to any company, that information could find its way onto the Internet. Think carefully before giving out your personal information to anyone.
Read about deleting your Facebook profile, keeping your home address confidential and other Internet Security tips at

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Know Your Rights Thursday

"You have the right to call the police if the abuser shows up to your home uninvited, even if you do not have a restraining order."

Visiting Staying Safe page to read more about what you can do.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Spotlight: Stop Family Violence

Stop Family Violence was founded in July 2000 after the Violence Against Women Act - crucial federal legislation providing $3.5 billion in funding for domestic violence and sexual assault programs nationwide - looked as if it were about to expire. In just 3 months time, Stop Family Violence organized people from across the nation to lobby Congress for VAWA's re-authorization.

The stories people sent into Congress through Stop Family Violence have been entered into the Congressional Record, incorporated into a brief to the US Supreme Court, and used to shape national policy guidelines. Stop Family Violence’s action campaigns have been instrumental in securing passage of the Violence Against Women Act, have blocked advancement of dangerous “fathers rights’ legislation, influenced US Attorney General decisions on refugee status for battered immigrant women, and helped ensure safety provisions in welfare reform legislation so that abused women aren’t forced to participate in marriage promotion programs.

Check out the website to see how you can contact leaders in Washington to tell your story or support helpful legislation. The website also provides detailed information about getting help and getting involved with the organization.


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Drop Dead Diva on Lifetime

Come on, admit it. You've probably spent at least one solid day of your life watching marathon movies on Lifetime. I know I have. They are generally heartbreaking thrillers which feature a strong female figure who survives something traumatic only to come out triumphant in the end.

Now you can satisfy your need for drama and female empowerment with Lifetime's new movie, "Drop Dead Diva". When beautiful-but-vapid model wannabe Deb (Brooke D’Orsay) has a fatal car accident, she suddenly finds herself in front of Heaven’s gatekeeper, Fred (Ben Feldman), who declares her a self-centered “zero.” Outraged, she attempts to persuade Fred to return her to her shallow existence but is accidentally relegated to the body of the recently deceased Jane Bingum (Brooke Elliott). A brilliant, thoughtful and plus-size attorney with a loyal assistant, Teri (Margaret Cho), Jane has always lived in the shadow of her more comely colleagues whereas Deb has always relied on her external beauty. Now, by a twist of fate and a bolt of divine intervention, Deb must come to terms with inhabiting Jane’s curvier frame in the ultimate showdown between brains and beauty.

Guest stars throughout the first season of Drop Dead Diva include Rosie O’Donnell, Tim Gunn, Liza Minnelli, Paul Abdul, Delta Burke, Sharon Lawrence, Kathy Najimy, Nia Vardalos, Jorja Fox, Teri Polo, Elliott Gould, Chuck Woolery and Diedrich Bader.

Tune in Sundays at 9pm to see what happens! is a fan and we know you will be too!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Help Allstate Choose A Charity to Award $100,000

Beginning July 15 and running through September 13, The Allstate Foundation is asking Allstate Employees and the public to vote for the recipient of a $100,000 grant through its Web site and Facebook Fan Page.

The organizations competing to receive the grant share The Allstate Foundation’s goal of economically empowering domestic violence survivors. Participating organizations are Charity Cars, Family Justice Center Alliance, Safe Horizon, and YWCA USA.

Visitors to the Web site can increase the chances of their favorite charity by “voting” once a day. The organization that reaches the most votes at the end of the campaign will receive $100,000 and the remaining three will each receive a $10,000 grant. Visitors to the site can also learn more about each of the highlighted organizations and their domestic violence programs. Just a few clicks of your mouse can help support those in need, so don’t forget to vote once every 24 hours until September 13.


Thursday, July 16, 2009

Know Your Rights Thursday

"You have the right to say NO to any sexual acts, even if its to your husband or boyfriend."

Read more about Marital / Partner Rape on

Monday, July 13, 2009 on LiteFM

Check out Nina Gilbert, Program Associate, and Stacey Sarver, Legal Director, talk about and domestic violence on Lite 106.7 FM. The show aired Sunday June 12, 2009.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Emotional Abuse - What Is It?

Emotional Abuse, also called Psychological Abuse, is characterized by one person subjecting another person to behavior which is psychologically harmful. This behavior is intended to threaten, humiliate or de-grade someone for the purposes of control. Victims of emotional abuse may feel depressed, anxious, insecure and worthless.

What does Emotional Abuse look like?

  • Being called names by your partner.
  • Using words to shame
  • Critical, sarcastic, mocking words meant to put you down either alone or in front of other people.
  • Yelling, swearing and screaming.
  • Using threats to intimidate.
  • Your abuser may blame you for his/her loss of control.
  • Your feelings are dismissed. (Ex. Refusing to discuss issues that upset you.)
  • You often wonder why you feel so bad. (Ex. You feel depressed and have even wondered if you are crazy.)
Find help in your state from the American Self Help Group Clearinghouse or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Know Your Rights Thursday

"You have the right to be human - NOT PERFECT."

Read more about your rights on


Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The ROSE Fund

The R.O.S.E. Fund (Regaining One's Self Esteem) is a national non-profit organization supporting survivors of domestic violence by helping them regain their confidence and independence. The Rose Fund provides free plastic surgery to fix physical injuries caused by abuse and can also help women earn a college degree through a scholarship program.

Medical procedures range from scar revisions and dental work to cosmetic reconstructive surgery for the head neck, and face. Physically scarred by the experience of abuse, The R.O.S.E. Fund gives women a fresh start and helps them to regain their self-esteem.

Click here to apply for surgery or an academic scholarship. The Rose Fund is located in Boston, but provides help to people across the country.


Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Tips for Economic Empowerment

Here are some helpful tips from The Allstate Foundation for someone who has suffered economic abuse to get their financial security back:

• Get a copy of your credit report and monitor your credit often. Contest false charges.
• Open a post office box (PO Box) and change your mailing address for all financial information you receive before or after leaving the abuser.
• Change PIN codes and passwords on: utilities accounts, cell phone service, ATM/debit cards, online banking, email.
• Make changes to documents such as insurance plans, wills, or trusts and appoint a new person if the abuser was the designee.

For more information on economic empowerment after domestic violence, go to ClicktoEmpower. For some ways to help the economic empowerment of domestic violence survivors in your community, check out these tips.

Economic Abuse: What Is It?

A new poll conducted by The Allstate Foundation and The National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) reveals 44% of people surveyed say the most difficult barrier to leaving an abusive relationship is financial security, yet 86% of Americans do not associate “economic abuse” with domestic violence.

Money can be one method an abuser uses to control and manipulate someone. Abusers may demand control of their partner’s earnings or government benefit payments, or deny her access to money in order to make her wholly dependent on him. Sometimes this financially controlling behavior takes the form of stealing or punishing someone when they spend money. Other times the abuser may directly prevent their partner from being independently financially secure by destroying the victim’s credit rating by running up debt by failing to make payments.

Domestic violence is about an abuser’s need for power over his victim, whether that takes the form of bruises or creating financial instability so crippling she cannot leave him. When women consider leaving their abusers, lack of financial resources can be a major obstacle . Working towards financial empowerment for women who have left or are preparing to leave their abusers is one of the ways that domestic violence advocates can help victims of domestic violence.

The NNEDV and The Allstate Foundation created a Financial Empowerment Curriculum as a way to help domestic violence survivors navigate the challenges of economic abuse as well as the added stress of the recession. For more information, check out their website, ClicktoEmpower . For more information, look at this factsheet on economic abuse or check out the Financial Information/Economic Empowerment section of our website for national resources that can help.

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse of any kind, can help. Ask us a question through our website and we will respond within 3 business days.